Back to school and the mental load

The end of the suspension of reality that comes post-holiday is pretty tough – and it isn’t just the return to work. There’s the mental adjustment as the fluid carefree days begin to make way for routines, and eating out and having picnics is replaced with cooking day in, day out. There’s the food shopping, cleaning and laundry; the admin that took a backseat is suddenly top of the to do pile. Then there’s catching up with personal correspondence/social media. Whilst a whole year WhatsApp group chat is very useful, I do find it stressful when it’s pinging off the hook!

The to do list

• Buying all the uniform for a new school and ensuring it has the correct house colour trim (of course my twins are in different houses!)
• New school bags suitable for ‘big school’
• Buying PE bags
• New school shoes – grappling with sizes being out of stock
• New PE trainers
• Buying new stationery items and maths equipment that wasn’t needed at junior school
• Replenishing other stationery equipment
• Uniform labelling (and labelling everything else)
• Ensuring they have a reading book they enjoy for the first day back
• Making sure all homework and ‘voluntary tasks’ have been completed
• Signing up for clubs both school and external
• Checking new timetable

Preventing back to school burnout

Whilst nothing can prevent the back to school burnout totally, there are a few things that I find alleviate it. Breaking down the whole to do list into smaller chunks and tackling tasks individually definitely helps. For example, a morning of shoe/trainer shopping. For me it pays to start early and tick a few things off for a psychological boost.

File all school emails together so you can quickly and easily refer back. Also write down all dates mentioned in emails as soon as possible on a wall calendar. I find that with so much going on if I don’t do this quickly, it slips my mind!

Get the kids back to their normal ‘term time’ bedtime routine three days before the start of term and make sure us parents get a few earlier nights: tiredness never helps anyone!

Meal plan for the week ahead and do a big food shop before they go back. This removes a lot of last minute stress and saves lots of trips to the supermarket.
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Good to luck to all the children (and parents) for next week!

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What are JoJo Bows?

If you haven’t seen them yet then they’ll definitely be coming to a school near you soon. Made popular by YouTube star JoJo Siwa, these massive, brightly-coloured (often diamante-adorned) branded bows retail for between £8-10 exclusively in the UK at Claire’s Accessories.

Previously the preserve of girls in dance groups, in gymnastic clubs and cheerleaders, JoJo Bows have hit the mainstream and have now started infiltrating schools.

JoJo Bows a No No at School

The hair accessory has hit headlines recently due to being banned at a number of schools for breaching uniform rules. Parents, who have forked out for the hair decoration, have been up in arms. I personally think that the signature larger variety (as in massive) look rather ridiculous, but aside from a wider debate about uniform, which I recently discussed for Yahoo!, there are a number of other issues.

For their part, Claire’s Accessories have gauged schools’ responses and have brought out a range of JoJo Bows in school colours, but obviously girls aren’t going to want to bother with those; they want the biggest, sparkliest variety on the market. The main issues with the bows, like with any craze, is they are a major source of distraction and can be a tool of oneupmanship.

At my daughter’s school they banned Pokemon cards as they were causing too many problems: dominating classroom chat, cards were going missing, unfair swaps, bragging etc etc. I can certainly see how the same might happen with JoJo Bows. Added to that there are the more expensive bona fide official JoJo Bows and the cheaper replicas; and of course they all know the difference, so again it’s something that can be really divisive: those that can afford the genuine ones and those that can’t.

Out of School

Despite the fact that they’re not my taste, I realise that kids like to express themselves and experiment with fashion. Through gritted teeth, I would let my girls have them outside of school, but not at school. I reckon teachers have enough to contend with without having to police hair accessories.

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Here are a few things I’ve picked up when buying school uniform, especially for the first time.

• Buy short-sleeved shirts – Even for winter, buy short-sleeved as opposed to long. Children seem to prefer no cuffs as they are more ‘free’ and there are no fiddly buttons. I prefer them as cuffs always get filthy and never come properly clean again. Short sleeved means that often you can get two day’s wear out of the same shirt

• Velcro fastening/riptape collar shirts – No fiddly top button to negotiate. Marks and Spencer do velcro instead of a top button on shirts for children up to the age of 8

• Two pairs of trousers or two pinafores is enough for the week – However, I’ve found that my girls need four summer dresses for the Summer term (they show up dirt more!)

• Pinafore instead of a skirt – For girls, buy pinafores. They keep everything in place (no untucked shirts, which happens instantly with the skirts) and helps avoid canteen medallions on the shirt so you can often get two days wear out of the same shirt

• Invest in heavier duty sturdy school shoes –  The far cheaper supermarket ones are very appealing, but they don’t last. They are however a good stopgap if your child has a sudden growth spurt and needs another pair but the timing is wrong for buying the ‘main’ pair. Startrite are a really good fit and very durable.

• Buy velcro-fastening shoes – Much faster in the mornings and much easier for them to get changed for PE

• When to buy school shoes – It might be tempting to get the shoes bought nice and early, but leave buying until the last minute. Childrens’ feet have a habit of growing fast in summer! New school starters will be back at school a week or two after the other children, so these in-between weeks are a great time to go as it’ll have quietened down in the shops
• Plimsoles – You can definitely buy cheaper plimsoles. They get such light use in the first couple of years that it’s pointless buying expensive ones
• Labels – Labelling uniform is essential. If, like me, you can’t be doing with sew on labels, invest in good iron on ones.

Please share any more top tips you have below…

You might also like: https://www.theparentsocial.com/starting-school-part-2/ 

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My School Fears and Guilt

Once again I’m starting to worry that somehow I haven’t done enough with them during the carefree time and short hours of pre-school. However, I’m mainly feeling a bit guilty that I’m rather looking forward to having all three at school.

I currently cram my freelance work into the hours that M&G are at pre-school. Come September, I won’t be constantly working against the clock. This will be a great relief and good for my sanity. Also, I won’t have to drag them to the supermarket; I’ll have the time to do it when they’re out at school. Doing the food shop solo will be a real luxury (for all of us). I’ll be able to prep dinner so that we’re not rushing about in the evening. I’ll also be able to get more house stuff done without having to neglect anyone. I might finally have time to go to a dental appointment or, shock horror, be able to get my hair cut during the week.

I hope it might make me a calmer mum. Currently most of my time right now is spent feeling really stressed as I rush so that I can get work done and fit everything else in. To give an example, if the girls are walking back slowly after pre-school I’ll cajole them so that I can get back home quicker to check emails etc. Maybe, come September, we’ll be able to stop and smell the flowers more. I envisage that we’ll have more quality time together as I won’t be fussing that I have to do x, y and z in a really narrow window.

Splitting up twins at school

We’ve decided to put M&G in different classes at school. I believe it will provide the opportunity for them to develop independently and find their own paths (read more here: Should twins be separated at school?).

Currently they spend pretty much every waking moment together, so I think it will do them a lot of good emotionally and socially. They know the school very well because of big sis, so I don’t think they’ll find it at all daunting. I also think if they’re in the same class it’s too easy to make comparisons, which is unfair; especially as one seems to be quite a bit more academic than the other. It’s going to be a bit of a logistical nightmare. There’ll be twice as many concert performances to go to and curriculum meetings to attend. I’m also trying not to think about just how many childrens’ parties they’ll be invited to!

I think it’s going to be a bit of an adventure for all of us…

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However, as my daughter’s start date gradually approaches, and having just been to buy some of the uniform from the school shop (cute cardis, little tie, sweet woolly hat, mini-sized gym kit, logoed school bag etc), I know in my heart-of-hearts I will be doing exactly the same. Apologies in advance to all of my friends that won’t be interested in the slightest.

Ahead of time, the obligatory child and uniform shot.

The next chapter 

I’m excited about this new chapter for Sofia, and I know she’s going to love it, but the idea of her starting school ignites conflicting emotions in me. With 21-month-old twins on the scene, I thought I’d really welcome having one less child to entertain on a daily basis. However, as the time draws closer, as well as selfish fears about the dreaded school run, I’m sad that we will no longer have the freedom to go where we want whenever we want; we’ll be confined to the school holidays when everything will be busy. I’ll no longer be able to choose our day-to-day schedule or wake up in the morning and spontaneously decide that we’ll go on a mystery tour somewhere.

I have started to think that maybe I haven’t done enough with her whilst we’ve had the luxury of ‘free time’, but our car fuel bills are testament to the number of groups we attend, the amount of visiting we do and the excursions we go on. I always seem to be doing housework. Perhaps sometimes I should have forsaken unnecessary vacuuming for an extra story or an additional trip to the park? Mum guilt: usually totally unfounded but ever-present.

In this lead up to D-day there’s been a plethora of forms to fill and dates to remember. I’ve actually found it fairly stressful as I’m very eager to get things just right ahead of this important milestone. Sofia is taking it all in her stride, she barely gave a sideways glance when I left her for the first time for an hour in what will be her new class; it’s me that has got the nerves.

And finally, aside from everything else, it’s just rather weird to think I have a school-age child. How did that happen? 

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